Review | Saints Row: The Third

Despite the unavoidable comparisons, it has never been fair to call Saints Row a poor man’s Grand Theft Auto. It might never reach the lofty standards set by the later day GTAs but despite the open-world similarities Saints Row always differentiates itself enough that it shouldn’t feel insecure. And with The Third that’s truer than it’s ever been.

Developer Volition has somehow managed to take the series’ uniquely self-conscious, absurdly stylised, half-mad approach to chaos and spike it through the roof. If Saints Row 2 was GTA on amphetamine then The Third is, I don’t know, GTA on even more amphetamine, almost too much amphetamine. Almost.

‘Over-the-top’ is the go-to adjective for the series and that’s simply because it’s hard to come up with too many other ways to describe something like a cannon that fires remote-detonated mind-controlling squids. Throw giant dildo melee combat and vehicular self-harming into the mix and you might land on ‘discomforting’, ‘perverse’, or ‘fucked right up’, but in general ‘over-the-top’ is a nice fit.

By the time you hit the campaign’s ten-minute mark you’ll already have botched a bank robbery, airlifted a safe out the roof with a helicopter, murdered at least seven SWAT teams, hijacked an airplane, killed a handful of assassins in mid-air while free-falling from said plane, invaded a military depot and stolen a big damn bomb. And that’s before you even set foot in the open-world portion of the game to choose your own brand of mayhem.

The story, such that it is, follows the Third Street Saints as they grapple with newfound fame as an international media empire, having run all other gangs out of town last game. For all their fancy movie deals and energy drink sponsorships the gang has lost sight of its roots, grown soft(ish) and given an international crime syndicate the opportunity to take control of Steelport. Naturally this won’t stand, and all manner of violent calamity ensues as you struggle to reclaim the throne.

It’s a silly crime saga with more emphasis on absurd humour and whacky highjinks than storytelling but if you can tap into that rather particular vein of humour then the game does funny better than most. And even if the pratfalling isn’t your style the fundamentals are solid enough that you’ll enjoy yourself despite the asinine window dressing.

Unlike the previous games, the missions are structured around a more linear story so you can’t pick and choose when you want to engage the various gangs around the city, though the decisions you make will still have consequences to the overall world. Choose wonton municipal destruction and you’ll find the man on the street becomes a little weary, kill rather than capture and specific mission branches will snap right off.

There’s enough manic gang beef to keep even the shortest of attention spans fixated but, as one wants from a good sandbox, there’s also plenty of other non-essential criminal activities to distract you. Rivals’ headquarters can be taken over, there are insurance scams to run, businesses to co-opt and sundry grey market activities to be dabbled in.

In another departure from tradition, the hectic competitive online play has been axed, replaced with a two-player co-operative element. The new mode doesn’t stretch the game’s value out as much as the usual skirmishes but it’s a novel enough take that has been well folded into play. Plus there’s the opportunity to share your intricately modelled custom characters online and import others’ creations – and boy, can they get weird.

On the production front everything is as slick as you would expect from a game held back for the end-of-year glut. The visuals are seamless, voice acting is lively and engaging (even when the jokes fall flat) and the overall tone of cartoon violence and exploitation grit is balanced expertly.

If you feel let down by anything in Saints Row: The Third it’s likely your own fault because the game hits every ridiculous target the series has ever set for itself. The only question that lingers is how in the world they are going to raise the bar on this insanity for a fourth helping.    [8.5]